I went to my friends funeral yesterday. He had to be the closest to a 2nd ex husband I could have asked for. There were many people there, many people he touched in some way. They all knew his life ended to quickly, but perhaps for the best place he could possible be.
I brought my daughter and her friend to the funeral to see what a military one was about. They didn't find the markers as interesting as I did. They told us, they bury 30 something a day there.
I was standing alone, watching the minister deliver a heartfelt speech. I was going through my head all the experiences we had together as friends. The good bad and the ugly,,, like my first ex. I must be wanting to help or fix something that might not be repairable.
Matt had a huge heart, which some of us mortals tend to take advantage of.
I used to tell him to grow some.... he was that kind and gentle soul some of us don't see in a life time.
At times jeckle took over and there was a side no one would deal with.
The minister reminded us of his trips back from Korea, taking babies back to their new found families. He found he could relate to little ones on the jobs and adventures we took. The little ones didn't know him from Adam, but they found him amusing.
I started to quietly cry, and a stranger came up to introduce me to himself. He wondered who I was to Matt, that my feelings were so deep.
He lent me his shoulder to lean on. I was grateful to connect with another human on the same level.
The ceremony ended, and I walked over to his ashes. I touched the side of the box. That would be the last time I would touch him before he was laid to rest.
I think Matt knows, I needed to move on. I needed to make my goals . He knew how strong I was, but not on that day.
I will not forget you as some of those marker may have been. You marked my life in a way to keep on fighting and kicking.
I will visit you in August.
